To the Man I Thought I Wanted to Marry

Hi.  It’s been a while.  But you’ve crossed my mind lately.

I’m not sure if you even exist out there in the real world.  You were so perfectly crafted in the deepest recesses of my Imagination Land during my teenage years and early twenties.  Oh, how I held onto you as a beacon of hope during those days when I wondered where you were or what you were doing out there in the universe.

Let’s see…what did you look like?  Because let’s be honest…that’s probably what I imagined the most.  Your face was vague.  But you were definitely tall, dark, and handsome.  Something of a hybrid between John Smith and Shang (because Pocahontas and Mulan, duh).  You never, ever had a bout of acne.  And you always had the greatest Crest Whitestrips smile.

You always knew every thought that crossed my mind, picked up on every mood and change of expression.  It’s like you practically majored in mind reading and body language comprehension.

I don’t think I ever imagined up for you a job or a career.  Whatever you did, it required the most minimal time but provided the most comfortable of lifestyles…so that, of course, you could cater to my every need and we could go on endless spontaneous dates and maintain a globetrotting, adventure-filled lifestyle.

We would be THAT couple.  You know.  The one that always has the most perfectly, polished look…every detail of our outfits would perfectly complement the other’s…we would both be photogenic beyond measure and our Instagram accounts would overflow with the gorgeousness that is so effortlessly us.

Oh!  And you loved Jesus.  And babies.  Of course.

But the truth is, it’s a good thing I never did marry you…or ever meet you for that matter.

Because honestly, it would have been very tiring to keep up with you.

I hate to break it to you because I know you’re perfect, but I’ve learned in the last year or so that I’m really not perfect at all.  And I’ll let you in on a few secrets…

I don’t really look like any of my selfies when you roll over in bed and see me in the morning.  Especially during the week that I’m sick and I haven’t showered for a few days and my nose is plugged up but somehow it’s also runny and I’m also slightly snoring because I can’t breathe (a.k.a. this past week).

There are days when my sweats and your crew neck sweater are on repeat.  Topped off with a messy top knot.  No, not the cute kind of top knot that took hours to create but looks “effortless.”  Like the dirty hair, haven’t brushed it since yesterday top knot.

Sometimes I just want to eat pizza and potato chips for breakfast.  I do hold myself back on that one as much as possible, though.  Work in progress.

I try to love Jesus, and pray, and read the Bible, and love others, and serve selflessly.  But sometimes I’m really bad at it and I want to give up.

But thank God that this imperfect girl met an imperfect man.  Perhaps that’s why the two ended up being a good team.

He may not be able to read my every thought, but he sure does know how to make me laugh when I’m down.  Something I didn’t even realize I needed so much in my life until he came along.

He may not ever gush about me on social media (he actually doesn’t even have an Instagram account…I know…crazy right?), but he tells me he loves me, that I’m beautiful (top knot and all), and he is so grateful for our life together.  Every day.

We may not live the most lavish of lifestyles, but he shows me how to be content in everything, enjoying the simple pleasures and blessings of life.

We have “heated discussions” once in a while, but he makes the effort to say sorry first, to forgive freely, and reminds me that we’re always on the same team.

So this Valentine’s Day, I’m thankful.  For the imperfect man and for the imperfect everyone He has placed in my life to love – parents, brother, in-laws, cousins, and friends near and far.  I love you, you imperfectly perfect you.  And thank you for loving me, the in-progress me.

3 thoughts on “To the Man I Thought I Wanted to Marry

  1. Catherine Wade says:

    Thank you Stacey for writing this blog. It always speaks to me on a very personal level. Thanks for being the imperfect you. You make it look so appealing.


    • Stacey says:

      Catherine, thank you for reading it! Instead of having all of these conversations in the office, it’s just on the blog now ;). Missing you and hoping to see you soon! xoxo


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