After I saw the positive, pink line on the pregnancy test (well, after getting over the omgahsljwoeirdnsldkfjo is this real?!?! feeling) I imagined that I would spend all these hours writing a journal to my future baby, telling baby how much I love him/her, documenting every little change, writing down all my hopes and fears, etc.
Let’s just say that my last post (eh hem…from like 10 weeks ago) was the closest I got to fulfilling anything of that romanticized picture of what I thought being pregnant would be like.
Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely grateful for the fairly smooth pregnancy we have had thus far. And there are moments I’m awed by feeling this little one move and kick inside of me. And times when I get lost in wondering what kind of personality this child will have, who he/she will resemble the most, etc.
But most days, it’s just an everyday day. Get up and get ready, work and meet people, catch up on the day with my husband, try to cook something delicious and nutritious, and clean the house…occasionally (unashamed to say that was the norm pre-pregnancy, too).
I think pregnancy is like a 10 month long process (yes, pregnancy is 10 months long…I had no idea either) in letting go gradually of life pre-baby and easing into life post-baby. Some things have totally changed. Some things have totally not changed.
So, just for fun (and for me to look back on this post when I’m nursing a baby and have forgotten what life pre-baby was like) these are the things that have changed in the last 7 months…
ONE – Oh yes, none of my clothes (and shoes!) fit. BUT maternity jeans and leggings?! Best. Invention. Ever. I’m really not sure how I’m going to go back to zippers and buttons after baby is out. Also, the last “bumpie” is outdated by almost 6 weeks…so I’m somehow even bigger than the picture in the bottom right corner (above). And will somehow crazily be even bigger in the next 10-12 weeks. Lord, have mercy.
TWO – Everywhere I go, all I see are babies. Babies. Everywhere. And I literally have no shame staring at them and at their mommas (or dads!). I was at the airport flying on my own during my first trimester when a few disgruntled travelers behind me made it clear I was holding up the security line because I couldn’t stop staring at the family with four young children trying to go through security, too. There should be a special airport security line just for families with kids and babies, yes???
THREE – Also everywhere I go, all I see are baby things. Strollers, car seats, diaper bags, the list just goes on. If I’m not creepily staring at you or your baby, I’m staring at all your baby’s stuff (#sorrynotsorry). I can now glance at an item and pretty accurately guess what brand it is and about how much it costs. And what the general reviews are for it online.
FOUR – And all that is because…I spend WAY too much time on our baby registry. Whenever my husband finds me on my iPad or laptop, all he has to ask is, “Amazon baby registry?” Guilty as charged. And due to those cookie search things (I have no idea what it’s called or how it works) now all of the website advertisements know that I’m pregnant, too!
FIVE – And last but not least, I’m generally enjoying the small perks and added attention that come my way because of our little bun in the oven. I’ve never been so happy to park in a parking spot before (picture above for reference)! And whenever a craving hits, everyone’s down to make the prego lady happy and grab some grub with/for her.
Now, on to the things that have totally NOT changed since getting pregnant…
ONE – Laundry. Actually, it’s increased. Now there are all of these baby clothes, blankets, sheets, etc. to wash alongside all of the usual laundry. (I think I just heard all of the mothers of the world laughing at me saying, “Oh honey…just you wait…”).
TWO – Cooking. I was somehow blessed to not have any morning sickness (so I really have no excuse to not enjoy cooking as much during pregnancy). But nothing tastes better than everyone else’s food right now. Doesn’t matter who cooks it or what’s in it…as long as I don’t have to make it. Can I get an “amen?”
THREE– Dating my husband. Everyone has been telling us to go on dates and do things that you probably can’t do for a good year or so after baby is born. We’re taking all them wise folks advice. It also helps that everyone is getting married right now so we are kind of being forced to dress up at least once a month.
FOUR – Staying connected with friends and family. We are again incredibly blessed to have such a great support system of young couples and families around us here in Kansas City. But I also do still miss my “history friends” and my family. It’s been good to be more intentional about catching up with them and just remembering that although I am expecting, I’m still just me, too.
FIVE – Somehow, I haven’t turned into a praying momma overnight. Let me explain. My parents weren’t perfect, but there is one thing I remember about them from my childhood and teenage years. Every morning without fail, both my parents would go into their separate “prayer closets” and pray. And every time my brother and I stepped out the door to go to school, my dad would lay his hands on our heads and pray a brief prayer over us, asking God to watch over us because he (my dad) wouldn’t be able to.
So, I formed a connection in my mind when I was a little girl. Parents = Prayer. When I become a mom one day, I thought, I’ll be a person of prayer, too.
But, I’m starting to realize that it’s not that easy. It doesn’t just happen because I’m suddenly pregnant. Prayer needs to be intentional and consistent because prayer is a confession of dependency…of leaning into a relationship, knowing that it’s not equal. That life is not in my control and the only One I can trust is Him.
So, in the midst of all these exciting changes, I’m still me. Still learning how to love Jesus and walk with Him on a daily basis. Learning how to love those around me. Learning how to let go and be grateful…and express my gratitude before an Almighty, GOOD Father.
We’re heading into the third trimester this week (how did this second trimester fly by so quickly?!). I’m sure many more things will start changing as we gear into really becoming parents. Until then, we’re going to enjoy these last few months of sleep, general cleanliness, and sense of freedom. 🙂