Two

It’s the age all preemie parents cannot quite fathom when they’re holding their tiny newborn in the NICU.

As monitors beep and whoosh and hum, you hear the doctors say, “By two, your little one will catch up to his or her peers…by two, you won’t have to adjust his or her age for development…by two, most people won’t even know he or she was a preemie.”

Two seems forever away when you’re just celebrating one more ounce gained, one more millimeter of milk digested, one more day before you get to go home.

And yet, here we are. Already and finally at two years old. What a victorious birthday today is for you, my son.

Many of the little and big miracles I could not even hope to dream of during those early days after your birth have already come to pass.

You’re a miracle by God’s great design.

And tonight, as I gaze upon your sweet, sleeping frame, everything becomes blurry. And all I hear is this broken, whispered prayer spilling forth from this momma’s full heart before the feet of an Almighty, merciful God…

Thank you…thank you…thank you for the gift of this life, our son, Your son. Thank you for giving us the privilege of raising this child for You. Thank you for deeming us worthy to walk this road, to grow our faith in the very best way. Thank you for being Emmanuel God, for showing us the Father’s heart, the power of prayer, and the strength that comes from leaning on brothers and sisters to believe in the impossible.

Thank you for Your promise. And thank you for not giving up on us when we didn’t believe…when we were close to losing all hope…when we forgot Your promise. Thank you for Your faithfulness to our family through every valley and mountaintop.

And most of all, thank you for the gift of Your son. By His death and resurrection, we have new life. We have hope for healing. We have faith to believe in the impossible. We are children of the living, Creator God. And because of that greatest gift, we are the family we are today.

Four surgeries, 10 weeks in the NICU, countless doctors appointments, and many, many prayers later…here you are, sweet boy.

You are living proof of the power of prayer. You are everything God promised us when He said that you would be a child full of joy.

Your appa and I are so blessed to be your parents in this pilgrimage. We love you, baby boy. Happy birthday 🙂

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One Day

My dear son,

I remember that moment like it was yesterday.  You were still in the NICU, but we had just gotten the news that you were going to be discharged earlier than expected.  Mommy had not yet finished your nursery, so she found herself standing in a long line at IKEA that morning before heading to the hospital.

Behind me was a family with two little boys, probably about six and eight-years-old.  They were running in and around the bins of extra stuff IKEA tries to entice you to buy while you’re checking out, making a huge, fun mess of things.  Without even turning around I knew that their tired mommy was giving them the “you-better-stop-this-right-now” look.

As I watched their little mischievous antics, I found myself asking the same question I had been asking on repeat since you were born – “When will Josiah be big enough to run around and play like that?”  

At the Baby Gap store, it was, “When will Josiah be big enough to wear newborn-sized clothes?”  At Costco, it was, “When will Josiah be big enough to be in size one diapers?”  You get the idea.

Right then, I heard the two older women in the line next to us comment on how cute the little boys were and how it seemed like yesterday their own children were that age. Read more…