Thirty sounded old a long time ago. Now, at 30, I feel like I’m just getting started with my life.
There are a lot of things I could reflect upon, deep thoughts I could write about as I leave my twenties. But at this point, there are just a few random, somehow related thoughts that are stringing together in my brain.
So, in honor of turning 30, here is a list of 30 things that are an honest reflection of who I am and what I’m thinking about in this moment.
It’s the age all preemie parents cannot quite fathom when they’re holding their tiny newborn in the NICU.
As monitors beep and whoosh and hum, you hear the doctors say, “By two, your little one will catch up to his or her peers…by two, you won’t have to adjust his or her age for development…by two, most people won’t even know he or she was a preemie.”
Two seems forever away when you’re just celebrating one more ounce gained, one more millimeter of milk digested, one more day before you get to go home.
And yet, here we are. Already and finally at two years old. What a victorious birthday today is for you, my son.
Many of the little and big miracles I could not even hope to dream of during those early days after your birth have already come to pass.
You’re a miracle by God’s great design.
And tonight, as I gaze upon your sweet, sleeping frame, everything becomes blurry. And all I hear is this broken, whispered prayer spilling forth from this momma’s full heart before the feet of an Almighty, merciful God…
Thank you…thank you…thank you for the gift of this life, our son, Your son. Thank you for giving us the privilege of raising this child for You. Thank you for deeming us worthy to walk this road, to grow our faith in the very best way. Thank you for being Emmanuel God, for showing us the Father’s heart, the power of prayer, and the strength that comes from leaning on brothers and sisters to believe in the impossible.
Thank you for Your promise. And thank you for not giving up on us when we didn’t believe…when we were close to losing all hope…when we forgot Your promise. Thank you for Your faithfulness to our family through every valley and mountaintop.
And most of all, thank you for the gift of Your son. By His death and resurrection, we have new life. We have hope for healing. We have faith to believe in the impossible. We are children of the living, Creator God. And because of that greatest gift, we are the family we are today.
Four surgeries, 10 weeks in the NICU, countless doctors appointments, and many, many prayers later…here you are, sweet boy.
You are living proof of the power of prayer. You are everything God promised us when He said that you would be a child full of joy.
Your appa and I are so blessed to be your parents in this pilgrimage. We love you, baby boy. Happy birthday 🙂
I know, it’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything. Is it just me or is 2018 flying by?
We’ve had so many beloved family and friends asking about our not-so-little-anymore miracle boy and his progress post-surgery. Now that we are nearly three months post-op, it’s due time that I sent out a little update.
Long story, short…he’s doing REALLY well! PTL! 🙂 Read more…
A year ago, I could not fathom how we were going to get through 2017. We were just about to leave the NICU after 9 weeks, knowing that we would make the hospital our second home with the multiple surgeries and follow up appointments Josiah would need.
Yet, here we are a year later, three surgeries down and only one more to go.
It was only possible by the grace of God and by your prayers. Truly.
It’s ten days into 2018 and I’ve finally started to remember to write 2018 instead of 2017. Which means 2018 must be here to stay, right? 🙂
We kicked off the New Year with a sick baby – full blown coughing, sneezing, snot drizzled everywhere, low-grade fever, no sleep…oh the joys of parenthood.
And just as the kiddo started to get better…the husband got sick. And then just as he started to get better…yup, you guessed it…I got sick.
Which is why this is being written ten days into 2018, instead of on the 1st of January.
A couple of years ago I learned about One Word 365 from my sweet blogger friend Sarah. And heading into 2016, I just knew with a strange certainty that the word for that year would be “Immanuel” – God With Us.
At the time, I had no idea that my first-born son would be born in 2016, 10.5 weeks early. There was no way to anticipate the up and down journey it would all be, and that my one word – Immanuel – would become such an anchor for us in that season.
Heading into 2017, I felt such conviction that it would be a year of miracles. We had just witnessed our little 29 weeker thrive in the NICU, surprise the doctors despite all of his medical diagnoses, and come home before his expected due date.
But there I was, the last day of 2017, permanently situated on my glider as I tried to rock a very cranky, sniffly little boy to sleep. Read more…